Couples often seek therapy because they are struggling with deep disappointment and have reached a place that seems confusing and unworkable. This dissatisfaction can express itself as infidelity, substance use, or any number of symptoms. I assist couples to look deeper into the longing hidden behind the symptom, to make their partnership more conscious, and help them understand and move away from patterns that bind them to unhealthy ways of relating.

While most therapists focus on communication, I focus on two areas- helping people become better individuals, and helping couples find the misplaced connection with each other. When both these things begin to happen, couples start re-defining what they genuinely mean to one another. Some examples of meaning that couples have expressed to me in therapy include to help support each others’ individual artistic endeavors, to help each other grow emotionally, to raise children and be the parents we never had, to re- ignite our love life, to help each other feel safe in the world and to finally learn how to love.

When meaning is present each partner feels that his or her deepest potential is nurtured, protected, and enriched. Such an environment holds the promise for living as a unique individual while participating in the joy of an intimate and committed relationship.

Integrative psychotherapy can help achieve the qualities of a healthy union, including:

• Feeling safe within the relationship (physically, emotionally, cognitively, spiritually)
• Collaborating on the meaning and purpose of your life together
• Helping each other recognize the unconscious rules and roles in your families and how they are affecting your relationship
• Learning how to be a trusted caretaker for your partner’s wounds and vulnerabilities
• Reviving your sexual connection and appreciating how it has evolved
• Developing your own ways of keeping the partnership fair
• Negotiating together-time and alone-time